While doing the pre-writing exercise, I realized that I am my toughest obstacle.  The biggest obstacle for me is getting started.

  I tend to think about what I’m going to write and how I can organize it for quite some time before I actually put pen to paper and even then I rethink and rewrite until I find my direction.  One of the techniques I have learned is to free write which allows me to write what comes to mind and then pick and choose what works for the point I’m trying to make.  I also procrastinate and spend too much time doing research.  I don’t like to write what I think; I’m more comfortable writing what I know and supporting it with good citations.

   This type of writing takes a whole lot of time and sometimes I would just like to be able to write.  Maybe I should become a professional free-writer.  Anyone know of job opportunities in that? 

The reading this week was about storytelling as a way to explain historical events.  I think it is interesting how a writer or reporter is able to retell history by telling a story and it is only according to the writer’s perspective as to how history may be retold.  To add to this, it is also the reader’s perspective as to how they perceive the story being told.  They may have an opinion already and so when they read this story they are already looking at it with a jaded eye.  

I find this interesting because this is similar to how our clients perceive situations they are faced with.  Some look at it one way and others in another way.  This can make it difficult when as a social worker you want to help a client understand they need to work with a service provider even though they have decided that person had judged them or doesn't like them and so your client decides they can’t work with this person.  It is your job to help them realize their biases and mediate between them and the service provider so that your client is able to receive the services necessary to help them overcome whatever problem they are facing.  

Men are disturbed not by the things that happen,

But by their opinion of the things that happen. 

~ Epictetus ~

Group Work

I have been working with a family to help motivate them to make positive changes in their life that would enable them to safely parent their children again.  This is hard as they’re in denial and resistant to advice, encouragement, and even bribery (yes, I’ve offered them a gift card if they would participate).  I invited them to participate in SOP (Safety Organized Practice) meetings.  This is a structured group format that is based around the client being the expert of their life.  It is client driven as they invite the participants and I am there to help them identify their additional support network, and their goals in this process.  UC Davis trains our Department in SOP and they refer to this process as holistic (UC Davis, 2012).  I’m not sure I agree with that definition; however, I do agree the results are good when the family participates.  It’s getting the family to participate that is the problem which leads me into my question. 

In the readings this week there is so much positive, productive group work examples and it’s exciting to read and to imagine being able to facilitate such a group.  There’s even some egocentric selfishness I’m recognizing in me to be “the one” that helps a family have that “ah ha” moment so that they become aware that change is within their power and they can control so much of the outcome of their case.     

What I would love to know is how to encourage and motivate a client who is still in denial, still making excuses, and has a partner who is doing the same thing to at least take baby steps towards change.  I am frustrated because if they stay where they’re at and don’t do anything they’ve been ordered by the court to do, they will lose their children, and they know this.     

I finally was able to read the Circle book (it had been on backorder) and was so inspired to try to put one together for this couple and their family.  I don’t think I have the ability or knowledge to do this; but maybe someone else could.  So what I thought I would do is talk to a service provider who might know about this or be able to identify someone who does and then approach the family with it and see what they think.  It’s yet another idea, but I’ve got to keep trying and I think the equality of the circle may be a key as they’ve been told what to do so far without results so this might give them the opportunity to develop their own plan and to realize not only why they live their life a certain way but what experiences in their lives have resulted in those choices being made and with that awareness, maybe then they could make the changes necessary to safely parent their children again.       

http://humanservices.ucdavis.edu/Academy/pdf/121-171-Safety-organized-practice.pdf  

I think what I am learning from my classes now is to be open to change and to try to encourage and engage my clients to do the same.  It may be a difficult task as I have my own ideas on how to meet with my clients and yet I am being exposed to different ways to do this.  One of the current challenges I am facing is working with ICWA; their goal is to maintain the Indian child with their family; however it is not always so easy as often the child’s parent is no longer connected to their family who are no longer connected to the tribe so in effect, we skip the parents and move on to the extended family for that connection.  The difficulty I face is that staying or introducing a child to their extended family may not always be healthy because that family may be living the same life as their parents who would be dysfunctional or unhealthy otherwise the Department wouldn’t have gotten involved.  So what do we do; do we work at keeping the child connected to the tribe and introducing them to a family member they may not know or supporting them in their current placement which is probably their permanent placement choice and the child may not have any connection to their tribe.  My dilemma is whose interest is most important?  Do we consider the tribe because they want to keep their young tribal members connected because in all cultures it is our youth that will be able to make changes and strengthen our culture or is it the youth’s best interest.  Often they may be more connected to a non-tribal member family; i.e. their foster family and we don’t want to disturb that connection either as that is their strongest connection.  What do we do?  Best interest of child or best interest of tribe?       

This is a test anyone who is looking.  Thanks Crystal!

My thought process

“My ideas flow so rapidly that I have not time to express them──by which means my letters sometimes convey no ideas at all to my correspondents.” - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

When I write, I usually do a sort of free writing where I put down my ideas and then as I read what I’ve written I think about how other people will respond and then I go back and re-write which consists of my thinking about what information I want to get across while considering the way my message will be read.    I sometimes think too much about how others will perceive my meaning whether it is in my writing or in my verbal communication.  I don’t necessarily think that’s a good thing.  I believe we should be aware of how powerful our words are and use them carefully but I also believe we should say what needs to be said and if someone takes it the wrong way, it is unfortunate but we must be true to ourselves and do what is right. 

Sometimes I don’t change my words even though I realize what I’ve written may be viewed in a different way than what I intended because I feel that those words and that message is truly what I want to convey and my hope is the reader will look at it again and read it from a more objective perspective.  I am much more confident and comfortable with the written word than the verbal because I have the ability to edit. 

 

Hopefully this is my last blog.  Bye.

 

Before doing this exercise, I would have thought I was more right brain but after thinking this through, I believe I am more left brain which does make more sense.  I am not spontaneous and I don’t trust my thoughts until I have support for them.  I doubt myself before I speak because I fear I’m going to come across as not very smart.  It’s interesting to think about but my whole life I have been a conformist.  I tell people I am a rule follower.

 

What makes this interesting is there was one aspect of my life where I was creative.  During my teen years I was a cheerleader and took great pride in what I did and worked hard at it.  As an adult I coached this sport for 15 years.  I was a strict coach and expected nothing but 100% of the kids I coached; however I was also creative in choreography and spontaneous on trips and incorporating playful activities while we worked so hard. 

"You can't possibly stick the stunt if you're thinking of all the possible ways you could fall." Author Addrian, Nine Mile Falls, WA USA

 After ending my coaching career and focusing on myself, I went to massage therapy school and felt like I was finally a free spirit and able to center myself with my dreams, thoughts, and behavior.  Unfortunately, I came home and back to my following the rules life and now only have those beautiful memories of that time.  It’s interesting how some people are able to balance the right and left brain and some are not.  I think I have not been very successful at the balancing act. 

With this being said, I want to mention that I have a grandson who is being raised by my daughter and her husband in Santa Cruz.  I identify SC because it is known for being a more alternative, healthy, green, natural community.  My son-in-law was raised by his mom and dad who lived on a commune there.  This upbringing and the fact that his parents raised him to trust himself and explore the world, leaving home and joining the professional surfer circuit at 15 allowed him to instill this sense of adventure in my grandson.  My daughter has acclimated to this lifestyle and way of thinking easily and so my grandson is learning to trust himself, to explore his world, to not be a conformist but instead to challenge certain barriers and this I believe will give him the confidence to face the world on his own terms and not live within the boundaries society places on him.  I tell this story because when I am with him or I hear about what the family has done or what their plans are, I am so happy.  I want my children and my grandchildren to not have the internal struggle of a lack of self-confidence or a fear to express themselves or to challenge an injustice. 

 

I want them to work at changing what they believe is wrong and if they have the confidence and knowledge, they will be able to do so.  They have inspired me to be a better person and to reconnect to my creative side.